Restless
by cw151
Summary: Tony feels restless at Christmas. Pointless Pepperony fluff for your holidays.


Tony never liked Christmas.

When he'd been little, he'd looked forward to the jolly season at first. Christmas looked wonderful in the movies and books they had in kindergarten – beautiful winter landscapes, lots of treats and presents, and families spending time together. However, year after year, Christmas at the Stark household culminated in arguments between his mother and his father, usually set off by his father arriving late and also drunk on Christmas Eve. Just like any other child, Tony hated it when his parents fought, but on Christmas, he couldn't even sneak off to his bedroom to escape the crescendo of his parents' voices. Instead, he was expected to sit with them in the living room, unwrapping presents underneath the tree, whilst listening to his parents bicker about the appropriateness of the other's presents for him.

 _"A choo-choo train? Maria, the boy is seven, not three!" – "Oh, right, because a chemistry set filled with explosives is so much better at that age!"_

So for years, Tony hated Christmas with a passion and couldn't wait to flee to his room where his parents' angry voices could only be heard from the distance.

Until he was 17. The year that his parents died, the silence on Christmas Day seemed to crush him. Obadiah invited him to celebrate Christmas with the Stanes, but Tony cooked up some half-hearted excuse in the mistaken belief that witnessing someone else's family at Christmas would hurt too much. What he hadn't foreseen was that the silence at home was even worse. For a while, Tony felt like he couldn't breathe; the quiet seemed to be deafening, like a thick fog taking up every inch of the house, every creak and every nook. The Christmas decorations that their housekeeper had faithfully put up as every year felt heavy and surreal, and finally, Tony raced to the house's sound system, turned on the most un-Christmassy music he could find ("Thunderstruck" by AC/DC – his mom had hated it) and withdrew to his workshop to re-emerge after the new year had already begun.

He found that this was a very good use of the holidays. Every now and then, he would attend Christmas parties in Vegas or in New York, but more often than not, Tony Stark's Christmases ended in blaring hard rock and getting lost in the oblivion of his workshop.

Just like this year. Right after he'd seen Pepper off, Tony made his way to his sanctuary. For Pepper, Christmas was a time for family. No matter how busy she was and how often her private life and her family took a backseat to her job, Tony could count on Pepper clocking out at 3pm latest on Christmas Eve to join her family in Connecticut. This year, she had even invited him to come along, but once again, Tony had excused himself. He really didn't like Christmas at this point, and combined with meeting Pepper's parents for the first time, it really wasn't his cup of tea.

Instead, Tony bustled about his workshop for a while. There were a few modifications he wanted to try on his latest Iron Man suit, and for about two hours, the alterations took up his entire focus. Soon afterwards, however, Tony felt a kind of restlessness spreading through him, as if something were missing. He instructed Jarvis to turn up the music even more, but the restlessness didn't go away. Instead, it only seemed to grow.

After his fifth failed attempt at a modification to his thrusters, Tony sent the wrench he'd been holding flying across the room with a colorful curse. He probably just needed a drink.

"Jarvis, do we have any of the Macallan left?" he shouted over the music.

"Yes, sir, in the living room bar," came the prompt reply.

Tony nodded and headed upstairs. The music was a little bit quieter here, but loud enough to let the bottles on the bar in front of him resonate.

Tony poured himself a generous glass of whiskey and let his eyes wander across the room. Thanks to Pepper, the entire house was decked out in immaculately tasteful Christmas decorations. Well, tasteful except for the pink- and purple-blinking life-size statue of Rudolph that Tony had insisted they put up. They'd come across it in a cornily decorated yard along the road on one of their car rides, and Tony had immediately stopped the car, knocked on the garden owner's door and paid her $5,000 for the pink Rudolph. Pepper had just given him one of her long, exasperated looks and then checked her e-mails on her phone.

Tony took another gulp of his whiskey. It seemed to calm the restlessness a little bit at first, but soon afterwards, it was back in full force. Tony raised an annoyed eyebrow and padded over to the Christmas tree in the far corner of the room, drink still in hand. The presents underneath the tree were neatly arranged in piles for him and for Pepper. Most of them came from business associates – small "thank you's" for a year of exceptional revenues – but some of them also came from their friends. Tony crouched and made out Steve's orderly handwriting, and the big scrawl from Bruce. He should probably open Bruce's present first. As his kindred spirit in science, Bruce's present would definitely be something awesome. Just as he reached out for it, Tony could hear the front door fall closed.

"Ms Potts is back, Sir," Jarvis supplied helpfully.

Tony stood up quickly and instructed Jarvis to turn down the music. Two seconds later, Pepper appeared in the doorway. She was unbuttoning her coat, her hair was wind-swept, and her cheeks rosy from the fresh air outside.

"Hey!" Her greeting lacked her usual cheerfulness. "There's a snowstorm over Connecticut. No planes in or out for at least another six hours." She shrugged out of her coat and draped it over the armchair next to her.

The two of them met in the middle of the living room. Pepper gave him a quick peck on the lips and then lowered herself onto the huge sofa facing the Christmas tree.

"What about suits?" Tony asked as he unceremoniously dropped down next to her.

"Suits?" Pepper looked at him confused. Tony could see the tiredness and disappointment behind her eyes.

"You said no planes in or out for another six hours. But suits are not planes," he said with a smirk. "Come on, I'll fly you over."

Pepper gave him one of those smiles that made something deep in his gut twist. She leant back and settled on his side.

"Thanks, but that's ok. I'm not particularly keen on flying into a blizzard, Iron Man suit or not," she replied as she leant her head on to his shoulder.

"You sure? Because I wouldn't mind. You wouldn't even have to do anything. I could fly you bridal style and you'd be all safe and warm in your suit," Tony replied searching her face.

Pepper twisted her head to look at him.

"It's alright," she whispered. "Unless you don't want me here?" she continued, a little louder with a smile playing on her lips.

Tony tilted his head and pretended to think really hard.

"Well, now that you've moved in, it's technically also your house, so I couldn't really keep you out even if I wanted to," her replied with his usual nonchalance.

Pepper sat up and patted his thigh.

"Great!" she said. "Lets make some hot chocolate! And change the music – it's Christmas!"

A few hours later the two of them were wrapped in blankets by the fireside. Thanks to Tony's genius idea to add rum to each of their hot chocolates, both of them were feeling warm and fuzzy, and very giggly at that.

"Oh, I remember this like it was yesterday," Pepper's voice was choked with laughter. "It was my very first week as your assistant and suddenly I'm flocked by reporters on my way to the office, all asking me whether you burning a pile of spirits in Miami the night before was a political statement on the consumption of alcohol in America." She suppressed another set of giggles and took a sip of her hot chocolate.

"Yes, and I remember you replying very professionally that of course it was and that my drunken behavior was a warning example to anyone in America who can't hold their drink," Tony replied, smirking.

Pepper covered her face with her free hand.

"I still cannot believe I actually said that. But I was so furious! You'd promised me that you wouldn't do anything stupid that night!" she moaned, but couldn't quite contain the mirth in her voice.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Tony replied, grinning. Pepper playfully smacked his upper arm before settling against it. Both of them were now looking straight at the Christmas tree in front of them.

"Well, at least we now get to open our presents together," Pepper said with a sigh. "I saw you looking at the presents earlier when I came in. I hope you weren't cheating!"

"Ah, no, I was merely admiring Steve's beautiful handwriting," Tony replied, stoically staring ahead.

Pepper raised an eyebrow. "Ah, well, in that case…" She looked up to Tony with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes and a smirk on her lips. Tony returned her look with a faint smile and bent down to kiss her slowly. Pepper closed her eyes and sighed as she leaned closer into him.

"Do you want your Christmas present early?" he suddenly whispered, his lips brushing against hers. Pepper's eyelids fluttered as she looked at him and hesitated.

"It's not Christmas yet," she replied, also in a whisper.

"It is in some parts of the world. Europe, for example," Tony replied calmly, very unlike his usual flippant self. Pepper seemed to notice, as she measured him for a few seconds before responding.

"Ok, then." A smile spread across her lips. "Let's be rebels." She stood up from the couch and fished the rectangular, red and gold box Tony had given her before her departure earlier in the afternoon out of her hand luggage.

Tony's mouth suddenly felt dry, so he took another sip from his cup.

Pepper sat back down next to him, the red and gold box in her lap. Tony watched as she carefully lifted the lid.

Confusion spread across Pepper's face.

"Is that – a VHS cassette?" Pepper asked, her eyebrow raised.

"Not just any VHS. An original release _Working Girl_ VHS, because you liked the movie so much when you grew up," Tony replied. His grin didn't quite reach his eyes, however.

Pepper smiled widely, and Tony could tell that it was her "I appreciate that you tried" smile, which she had perfected over the many years she'd worked for him.

Suddenly, Pepper's smile turned into a frown.

"It's really light. Is the cassette even in it?"

She carefully opened the casing as Tony suddenly sat up and leant forward.

"It's empty!" Pepper exclaimed before suddenly sucking in a deep breath.

Taped to the inside of the casing's cover was a simple, yet elegant ring with two oval diamonds.

Tony swallowed hard, and fixed Pepper with wide eyes.

"I know we haven't talked about this before. And I know that I'm not the most… _expressive_ when it comes to how I feel about people, and especially when it comes to you. I also know that I've made more mistakes than I can count, and even more so when it comes to you. But the thing is, when I'm with you, I'm happy. Really, really happy. You ground me, Pepper, and you help me be the best man I can be. When you're around, I don't mess up so much because _I don't want to mess up so much_. And so, what I'm trying to say here is – _I love you_ , Pepper. You're the most important part of my life and I don't want you to ever stop being in my life."

Pepper sat immobile, staring at the casing in front of her. Tony's heart hammered against his chest and he swallowed once more. He gingerly reached for Pepper's hands, and she finally looked up to him.

"Marry me. Please." Tony tried his best to keep his voice steady as his eyes searched for a reaction in Pepper.

And it came. Pepper's eyes turned glassy and her breathing was haggard.

"Honey? Please say something." Tony rubbed his thumbs across the soft skin on Pepper's hands.

At that, Pepper broke into a wide grin and nodded hastily.

"Yes! Yes! I'm sorry – yes!" she blurted out. Then she took a deep breath. "Yes," she repeated in a firm voice.

Tony made no attempt to stop the relieved smile spreading across his face. He pulled Pepper close and gave her a lingering kiss.

"Wow, thank God," he stated as he buried his face in her hair.

Pepper smiled against the side of his throat.

"Did you seriously think I would say no?" she asked, her voice muffled.

"Well, I thought there was a twelve-percent possibility, yes," Tony grinned.

Pepper tilted her head back with an exasperated eye roll.

"If you put it that way, maybe I should think about it once more," she said with a blasé expression.

"No, no, no, you already said yes. No going back now," Tony quickly responded before pressing a firm kiss on to her lips.

Later, when they were lying in bed, and Pepper was snuggling against his side, her right-hand and its newest adornment resting on Tony's chest, Tony suddenly realized something.

His restlessness was gone.


End file.
